For the past decade I have been on a conscious journey of healing deeply embedded wounds. As Black women, our intergenerational trauma runs much deeper than we could ever fathom and the journey can come with many moments of questioning life itself.
I remember talking to a fellow Black woman and asking her:
"When did you come to the realisation that you were in pain?"
She told me for many years, she assumed that this wounded state was a normal way of being. Being overwhelmed and constantly just barely making it by each day, seemed like the way one must be to exist in this reality. Her awakening arose in a moment when she literally had nothing left to give and felt completely broken.
I understand this on an incredibly intimate level. What seemed to be the image of a 'strong Black woman', was simply an exhausted soul yearning to finally shed the weight of the world on her back.
My realisation came while I was working for a Fortune 500 company and sitting in a cubicle staring at these dull grey walls. I looked around at my co-workers, seeing an image of who I would become if I stayed. I felt my light dimming and fell into a deeper state of depression. I thought:
'Is this all that my life will amount to? Working to make money for people that could care less about me?'
No matter how many bottles of wine I had and luxurious vacations I took, that void wouldn't go away. It became bigger and bigger until it finally broke my spirit. I had no choice but to find another way and that was the turning point I needed to build the soil of my healing journey.
With 10 years of healing, I can say that sometimes it's difficult to see the intangible ways we are become whole again as Black women.
In reflecting, there are a few ways that I can think of as clear signs but there are so many more subtle signs of healing that hold just as much weight.
Here are 4 signs of healing that might support your healing journey:
1. Seeing light in every person (especially the ones that you don't agree with)
2. Re-learning how to love (love takes different forms and can often be misinterpreted due to the trauma we have experienced. when you begin to build from a space of wholeness, love begins to look different)
3. Trusting my intuition (the whispers hold your truth sis)
4. Cutting cords to toxic relationships (a person can be a good, but just not healthy for you)
I hope this helps you on your journey and if have any questions, just send my an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject title 'Black Woman Healing'.
Be well soul sisters,